Thriving in Life with Positive Psychology

Positive psychology is a relatively new practice founded by Martin Seligman and his colleagues in 1998, defying the traditional psychology discipline. The field focuses on human strength and capabilities rather than our mental diseases (Seligman, 2013). The young generation, especially students, is more vulnerable to significant mental health threats (Pluskota, 2014). The pressures to excel in school, work, and personal life can deteriorate our sense of self and prevent students from flourishing. Seligman (2018) introduced the PERMA model, the five elements to thriving: positivity, engagement, relationships, meaning, and achievement. Emilya Zhivotovskaya, Seligman’s student, then added ‘vitality’ to the model completing the framework as PERMA-V (Brecher & Shaffer, TiAO, 2019d). Positive psychology and its corresponding practices can be beneficial for students and others to prosper in life.

Positive emotions, or the pleasant life, are the foundation of well-being theory (Seligman, 2018). But how does one achieve such a life when the world feels hopeless, especially with the global pandemic? A pleasant life is still attainable regardless of our situations. One of the effective methods is adopting gratitude, “a grateful state of being in which we feel blessed and worthy” (Brecher & Shaffer, TiAO, 2019a). We can start practicing gratitude by writing three good things in life and our contribution to making them happen. A study proves that this method increased happiness and decreased depressive symptoms for six months (Seligman et al., 2005). In PSY 706: Positive Psychology class, Dr. Diana Brecher and Dr. Deena Kara Shaffer always asked students to share three good things at the start of class. Sharing good things reinforced my belief that I don’t need superficial things to have a pleasant life. I started to appreciate little situations more, like cooking my favourite meal or enjoying the sun. Doing the practice also brought a stronger sense of belonging and positive emotions in our study community.

Positive psychology involves more than our individuality. It also includes other people. Positivity is rarely solitary (Seligman, 2018, p. 16). As human beings, we are biologically coded to long for connection and belonging. Belonging is when others want you in their space (Tippet, 2020). The pandemic makes me feel isolated, especially since I am living alone in a foreign country. However, sharing in class and seeing my classmates shared the same concerns are comforting. It made me feel less lonely, and it builds more positive relationships. The Spirit assignment also encouraged belonging. I shared with my good friend the lessons and resources I have received from the class. It brought her profound discoveries as well. We were able to learn and grow together as a community. 

Another practice that promotes connection and belonging is active constructive response (ACR). ACR expresses “authentic interest and pride in other person’s accomplishment” (Brecher & Shaffer, PSY706 W21 Lecture 3, 2021). Our positive response to someone's good news speaks more volumes and plays a significant part in building a relationship. We validate others' feelings and provide the necessary support through active constructive responses (Tocino-Smith, 2019). It also encourages engagement and positive relationships in PERMA-V. Enthusiastic responses can cultivate a more profound sense of belonging, which is precious during this lockdown. It feels validating and comforting when my loved ones share genuine, engaging expressions whenever I share the good news, whether it is trivial or significant. 

It is not an uncommon experience to receive negative or indifferent feedbacks when sharing the good news. Some people may see others' cheerful mood as a barrier to communication. They see other’s happiness as a threat to their relationship. Therefore, they will try to bring them down not to feel lonely (The School of Life, 2019). Unfortunately, this immature way is not sustainable and would deter relationships further. Confessing and communicating our troubles can help us approach our fears more lovingly and prevent us from disheartening our loved ones. It requires vulnerability, attentiveness, and mindfulness to acknowledge our negative behaviours. Before we can communicate our issues, we must first recognize what troubles us. A practice that has helped me immensely in facing my negative feelings is mindfulness.

Mindfulness is a conscious discipline focusing our mind, heart, and body on being fully present in life (Shapiro et al., 2016). There are many practices to achieve mindfulness, but three core elements (intention, attention, and attitude) must be honoured in each exercise. We must know why we are doing what we are doing with full attention to the present moment and open-heartedness (Shapiro & Carlson, 2009, as cited in Shapiro et al., 2016). Dr. Brecher and Dr. Shaffer had guided us through a mindful movement, writing exercises, and meditations in class. I also participated in yoga and meditation for the Body assignment. 

The assignment and in-class practices connected me to my mind, body, and soul. I have struggled with anxiety and depression in the past, which means I spend many times in my head. I would be vulnerable to negative thoughts, that most of the time, are not real. Hopelessness used to consume me and affected my relationship with others. However, ever since I participated in mindfulness activities, I can silence the negative feelings, even befriend them. Now, I meet my fears and insecurities with lovingkindness and uncover the roots of the issues. Mindfulness skills allow me to communicate my emotions and control my expressions, which leads to happier relationships with myself and others (Shapiro et al., 2016).

I am more aware of what my body needs, whether it is more exercise or sleep. It accomplishes vitality for the PERMA-V model. Whenever I feel exhausted or stuck in my study, I would get up and move my body to release some tension. Sometimes, I would walk outside or dance in my room to refresh and reset my brain. Simple movements like walking and dancing reenergize me, and then I can continue my work. 

I need to nourish my mind, body, and soul to thrive daily in life. Doing simple breathworks, like the alternate nostril, also relaxed my nerves and helped me self-regulate (Brecher & Shaffer, PSY706 W21 Lecture 11, 2021). All these activities settled me to the present and helped me admittedly in my study and interpersonal relationships. Mindfulness makes me sense the truth in my body, more profound than fear, that as long as I am breathing and living, I am okay (Hanson, 2020). Mindfulness also teaches me that optimism is something that I can control and learn intentionally (Brecher & Shaffer, TiAO, 2019b).  Most importantly, mindfulness practices had allowed me to connect to myself and granted me more self-compassion.

Self-compassion is simply being our own best friend (Brecher & Shaffer, PSY706 W21 Lecture 4, 2021). It entails being kind to ourselves, accepts imperfection as part of the shared humanity, and being aware of the present moment (Neff, 2011, p. 4). It is different from self-esteem, as it involves more comparison and judgement towards other people, and it is not sustainable (Brecher & Shaffer, PSY706 W21 Lecture 4, 2021). The most significant revelation from my mindfulness practices is that I do not have to continuously experience positive feelings or be superior to others to be fulfilled in life. Self-compassion made me realize that I am enough right now, despite my failures and triumphs. I have healthier self-esteem because I am no longer dependent on "particular outcomes or social approval" (Neff, 2011, p.9). 

Both self-compassion and mindfulness reinforced my growth mindset. The growth mindset believes that intelligence can be developed and focuses more on the process that leads to learning (Dweck, 2015). Dweck (2015) also stated that "a growth mindset isn't just about effort." It involves embracing setbacks and mistakes as natural occurrences for learning (RSA, 2015). Praising the process is essential to cultivate a growth mindset and promote self-compassion. Students are found to avoid failure so they can maintain their self-worth (Eva, 2017). Remote learning during a global pandemic may exemplify this psychological challenge. It is a new circumstance that none of us are accustomed to yet, but we are still expected to operate normally. My main priority is to keep myself safe and healthy, so I focus more on what I have learned in the process, not the outcomes. If I don’t succeed yet, it is okay. I am doing something that I have never done before, and I am still proud of myself for trying. 

I am more academically tenacious now as I view setbacks as learning opportunities, and I have self-regulation strategies to motivate me (Brecher & Shaffer, PSY706 W21 Lecture 6, 2021). I am more thoughtful in how I approach my study now. I read the course outlines and assignment instructions thoroughly to avoid any confusion and unnecessary stress. I actively ask questions and participate in class to build a solid relationship with my professors. I am paying to be here in school, so I need to optimize my study. Sometimes, I would still face adversities, like an inconsiderate professor. After going through mindfulness exercises, I recognize that some terrible circumstances are beyond my control, and I should focus my effort on doing what I can in those situations. Anyone can be passionate and productive when things are easy, but when facing difficulties in our path, we need grit (Duckworth, 2019). Grit is perseverance towards achieving our passions and living life like a marathon (TED, 2013). It is about doing what we love and staying in love despite the challenges in our path to excellence (Duckworth, as cited in (Brecher & Shaffer, PSY706 W21 Lecture 6, 2021). 

Establishing my passions used to be a difficult task. There were times where I would feel lost and unsure about my life. Fortunately, I am more anchored in my being now, making it easier for me to explore my values for my guiding principles (Brecher & Shaffer, TiAO, 2019c). We explored Ikigai in class from the Japanese culture to find reasons for being (Houston, n.d.). It identifies our passion, mission, profession, vocation, and the overlapping response is our ikigai. Ikigai validates my purpose for creating more positive representations through dance and film for marginalized bodies in the creative industries. 

This course has consolidated the skills and knowledge I need to become a compassionate leader in my career. I have enough internal resources to cope and flourish in high demands environments like university and the dance industry. Since I understand my reason for being and recognize my resiliencies more, I have functional coping strategies that help me approach problems positively (Craver et al., 1989, as cited in Brecher & Shaffer, TiAO, 2019e).  I am also inspired by how thoughtful and caring Dr. Brecher and Dr. Shaffer are in class, from their affectionate feedback to considerate deadlines and their students' awareness. I aspire to be a kind educator and leader like Dr. Brecher and Dr. Shaffer and share the resources I have learned from this course with my colleagues and students in the future.

Adversity is inevitable in life, but it allows us to appreciate positive experiences (Graham, 2015). I learn best from my hardships. Before this course, I am already familiar with mindfulness practice and mental health resources. Nonetheless, this course was an excellent addition to my mental health and education journey. Healthy ways of thinking can influence our states of health (Berkelhammer, 2015, as cited in Brecher & Shaffer, PSY706 W21 Lecture 10, 2021). I approach stress with more positivity now. Whenever I am stressed about a new project, I realize that it is just my body helping me rise to the challenge. Shifting that perspective encourages a healthier stress response (McGonigal, 2013). 

Having positive attitudes and openheartedness in life has benefitted me greatly. I am more focused on my tasks because I don't entertain negative self-talk anymore. I am also more hopeful and optimistic because I genuinely believe that I have the agency to create a better future for myself (UMNCSH, 2013). Positive psychology resources and practices helped tremendously in my journey from school to life. I incorporate the PERMA-V frameworks in my life now and I embrace all achievements and challenges. I wish to continue this work beyond the classroom. I am thriving and living my purpose with openheartedness and kindness in happy and challenging times.

References

Brecher, D., & Shaffer, D.K. (2019a). Thriving in Action Online. Ryerson University. Retrieved from https://tia.ryerson.ca/appreciativeness/gratitude/ 

Brecher, D., & Shaffer, D.K. (2019b). Thriving in Action Online. Ryerson University. Retrieved from https://tia.ryerson.ca/attentiveness/optimism-paying-attention-to-your-thoughts/ 

Brecher, D., & Shaffer, D.K. (2019c). Thriving in Action Online. Ryerson University. Retrieved from https://tia.ryerson.ca/meaningfulness/exploring-your-values/ 

Brecher, D., & Shaffer, D.K. (2019d). Thriving in Action Online. Ryerson University. Retrieved from https://tia.ryerson.ca/meaningfulness/perma-v-meaningfulness-and-flourishing/ 

Brecher, D., & Shaffer, D.K. (2019e). Thriving in Action Online. Ryerson University. Retrieved from https://tia.ryerson.ca/resourcefulness/what-does-it-mean-to-cope/ 

Brecher, D., & Shaffer, D.K. (2021). Lecture 3: Attentiveness, Optimism, ACR & Attention Restoration Theory [Google Slides]. Retrieved from Ryerson University PSY706. 

Brecher, D., & Shaffer, D.K. (2021). Lecture 4: Connectedness Self-Compassion & Teamwork [Google Slides]. Retrieved from Ryerson University PSY706. 

Brecher, D., & Shaffer, D.K. (2021). Lecture 6: Determinedness Grit, Goal setting, Academic Tenacity [Google Slides]. Retrieved from Ryerson University PSY706. 

Brecher, D., & Shaffer, D.K. (2021). Lecture 10: Open-Heartedness Growth Mindset & Learning from Mistakes [Google Slides]. Retrieved from Ryerson University PSY706. 

Brecher, D., & Shaffer, D.K. (2021). Lecture 11: Resourcefulness Models of Wellbeing, Inner-Resourcing [Google Slides]. Retrieved from Ryerson University PSY706. 

Duckworth, A. (2019, February 5). Being Well Podcast: Grit with Angela Duckworth - Dr. Rick Hanson. Dr. Rick Hanson. https://www.rickhanson.net/being-well-podcast-angela-duckworth/

Dweck, C. (2015, September 23). Carol Dweck Revisits the “Growth Mindset” (Opinion). Education Week. https://www.edweek.org/leadership/opinion-carol-dweck-revisits-the-growth-mindset/2015/09

Eva, A. L. (2017). Why We Should Embrace Mistakes in School. Greater Good. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_we_should_embrace_mistakes_in_school

Graham, L. (2015). How a Challenging Past Can Lead to a Happier Present. Greater Good. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_a_challenging_past_can_lead_to_a_happier_present

Hanson, R. (2020, September 29). One way to calm an anxious mind: Notice when you’re doing OK. Ideas.ted.com. https://ideas.ted.com/one-way-to-calm-an-anxious-mind-notice-when-youre-doing-ok/

Houston, E. (n.d.). Finding Your Ikigai. Positive Psychology. https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1GRwR4xOhxSB3r4oP9GkPXtQX9b69KKnJ

McGonigal, K. (2013). Transcript of “How to make stress your friend.” Ted.com; TED Talks. https://www.ted.com/talks/kelly_mcgonigal_how_to_make_stress_your_friend/transcript

Neff, K. D. (2011). Self-Compassion, Self-Esteem, and Well-Being. Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 5(1), 1–12. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1751-9004.2010.00330.x

Pluskota, A. (2014). The application of positive psychology in the practice of education. SpringerPlus, 3(1). https://doi.org/10.1186/2193-1801-3-147

RSA. (2015). RSA ANIMATE: How To Help Every Child Fulfil Their Potential [YouTube Video]. In YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yl9TVbAal5s

Seligman, M. (2013). Transcript of “The new era of positive psychology.” Ted.com; TED Talks. https://www.ted.com/talks/martin_seligman_the_new_era_of_positive_psychology/transcript?language=en&fbclid=IwAR0vkiI9rXbulgJ7rf5iN4HA4ouLJbHJIcst5u1PQGDc8nnRPgW19cjpbqg

Seligman, M. E. P. (2018). Flourish : a new understanding of happiness and well-being and how to achieve them. Nicholas Brealey Publishing.

Seligman, M. E. P., Steen, T. A., Park, N., & Peterson, C. (2005). Positive Psychology Progress: Empirical Validation of Interventions. American Psychologist, 60(5), 410–421. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066x.60.5.410

Shapiro, S. L., Jazaieri, H., & de Sousa, S. (2016). Meditation and Positive Psychology. The Oxford Handbook of Positive Psychology, 3rd Edition. https://doi.org/10.1093/oxfordhb/9780199396511.013.50

TED. (2013). Grit: the power of passion and perseverance | Angela Lee Duckworth [YouTube Video]. In YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H14bBuluwB8&t=6s

The School of Life. (2019). Why We Sometimes Try to Make Our Partner Sad [YouTube Video]. In YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9f9fiNhXyuk&t=108s

Tippett, K. (2020, July). Brené Brown — Strong Back, Soft Front, Wild Heart. The on Being Project. https://onbeing.org/programs/brene-brown-strong-back-soft-front-wild-heart/

Tocino-Smith, J. (2019, March 11). What is Active Constructive Responding? PositivePsychology.com. https://positivepsychology.com/active-constructive-communication/

UMNCSH. (2013). Interview with Dr. Shane Lopez [YouTube Video]. In YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bka3sI5_WZ4&list=PLA38DCA66A0AEDE6F&t=1s